The Case of the $54 Million Trousers

Appeared in the Press-Citizen on July 1, 2007

I drop my five-spot on the bar and Bill,
local P.I.—Pants Investigator—
tells me last night’s scores can wait for later
as he’s got something from the rumor mill:
a suit about a suit, an alteration
altercation, a case of missing slacks,
a judge who thought he had a hand of jacks,
and a brief submitted and heard ’round the nation.
“The beltway’s abuzz,” Bill says. “I’ve been in the biz
long enough to deal with in-betweeners,
but this guy taking his cleaner to the cleaners
is meaner than a pirate in pantaloons is.
It could go either way, I guess, but here’s to hopin’
that when he stands for the verdict, his barn door’s open.”