Sunday, February 6, 2011

Ronald Reagan's ABC's

Ronald Reagan (February 6, 1911 - June 5, 2004)

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A is for Auto:
As the profits rise higher,
I'll help out the bosses
Not workers or buyers.

B stands for Big Business
And Bankruptcies, too.
We're making it easy
To cut wages for you.

C's Civil Rights
And the sins of Commission.
Those equality fights,
We've put in remission.

D stands for big Deficit:
Why does it get harder
To stop it from growing?
I'll just blame it on Carter!

E's for Ecology:
A liberal plot
To put shackles on industry.
Let's bring back Jim Watt!

F's Full Employment,
A nice thought, but yikes...
Without lots of jobless,
Who'd we get to break strikes?

G's for General Dynamics
And the Pentagon's frills.
They rake in profits,
And you pay the bills!

H stands for Health Care,
"No problem," I say,
As long as you're there
With the money to pay.

I—watch the Imports
And Interest rates rise!
We're not selling you short:
It's just free enterprise!

J stands for Jobs.
You'll get one some day,
As long as you're willing
To take lower pay.

K stands for Kids,
I like them all, but...
Funds for their schools
I've just got to cut.

L is for Labor,
It's giving me pains.
They'll either play my way, or
I'll put them in chains.

M is for Ed Meese,
A misunderstood soul.
For the hungry, he's got cheese,
For the rich, more loopholes.

N's for Nicaragua:
If they don't toe my line,
I'll shoot first and talk later,
Send the CIA to lay mines.

O is for OSHA:
It's better ignored.
To put lives before profits,
We just can't afford.

P is for PATCO,
I sure gave 'em hell.
If they'd only been Polish,
I'd have wished them all well.

Q stands for Quality
Of Life (for a few).
It's great if you're wealthy,
But we can't include you.

R is for Runaway
Plants in far lands,
Where they cut workers' pay
Because unions are banned.

Social Security
It's an awful expense.
Why subsidize the elderly
With tax dollars and cents?

T's for my Tax bill
And Trickle-down, too.
Don't worry, the rich will
Pass their cuts on to you.

U's for Utilities:
Let's de-regulate!
Oil, gas, and electricity—
We'll let them raise rates!

V's for my Veto
Of the auto content bill.
The Republicans don't like it, so
Kill it, yes, I will!

W stands for Women—
I won't give them ERA.
In our economic system,
Equality's too high a price to pay.

Put an X right by my name.
Forget your silly fears.
You think my program's been too tame?
Well, just watch my next four years!

Y is for the Japanese Yen,
Whose value will get lower
As I push up the dollar; watch
The imports gain more power.

Z is for my Zig-zag course:
I stay it all the while.
In foreign countries, I'll use force;
While at home, I nod and smile.